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About Digital Art / Artist starsandpolkadotsFemale/Unknown Group :iconthisfuckingcitysucks: ThisFuckingCitySucks
 
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BF and I broke up. </3
I am moving into my own flat these days.
New job is good.

I am incredibly sad, though. I wasn't prepared for this kind of heartbreak and it really, REALLY sucks. I miss our "good ol' days" so much. The beginning of 2014. I've never felt better in my entire life! It's all gone. Damn.

Well. At least it didn't take long to find a nice flat that I can afford. I guess I'm kind of growing up. It feels weird. Everything feels so weird. Switching between "This is exciting!", "I'm looking forward to living on my own!" and "I am never going to be happy again!" every five minutes.

That's life, I guess. Meh.
Sooo... I'm gonna start a new full time job in April. Yeah, great stuff and all and it's gonna be so exciting and blablabla. UGH. Please, don't get me wrong, I kinda DO look forward to getting out of this mess and earn money again and the job IS quite nice, I guess, but I'm scared as shit. Two weeks left and the anxiety level is rising at it's highest rate and I'm trying to figure out how to keep cool, calm and collected. It's a relief and a nightmare at the same time. I'm scared of failing AGAIN, of getting fired AGAIN and ugh. No one understands it? Everyone's trying to encourage me ("You're gonna do SO GREAT ZOMG!", "I know you can do anything!", "Just give your BEST and you'll be fine!" and all that) and they mean SO well, I know it, but it also puts a LOT of pressure on me and I don't even have figured out my latest depression and there are moments I just don't know how to handle it all. What if... AGH! ALL THOSE WHAT IFS! I CAN PLASTER OUR FLAT WITH ALL MY "WHAT IF..."s .... RARGH!

SIGH.

Whatever. Eeeeeeverything will be fineblablablaaah. BLAH.

What have YOU been up to? :heart:
bunch 2015/2016 (update) by starsandpolkadots
bunch 2015/2016 (update)
UPDATE 25/02/2016: Added two O'Connells. 8D Other updates will follow!

Haven't drawn in two years... well, I have but... not really. :( Sketched the (ex) trio of derp a few weeks ago. They have changed (personality wise, look wise, ...), as have their relationships with each other (and other peeps too). Too lazy to go into detail... my TCS tumblr still exists (as do all my peeps!) so you might want to hit up that one for more info. :D

I want to draw more but I'm not sure if I'm gonna go through with it. Still fighting life and such. SIGH.
Loading...
... I got fired last Wednesday. So they did not only suck a big chunk of life out of me, they also gave me the final punch in the guts. This nagging feeling of having failed HARD, guh. I wasn't cut out for the position. For the job in general. I know it's not the end of the world but I feel like shit anyway. I have to go job hunting again. Love that SO MUCH, you have no idea.

For now, though... rest. I really need some rest. I'm not sad to leave the place, not at all. The first second after my ex-boss broke the news to me I just felt relief. Then panic. Relief first, tho. That has to mean something, right? I don't miss them, unlike the agency where I did my second internship. I still miss them like whoa.

I feel... better, actually. Not only relieved but better. No more stomach aches in the morning. No more panic attacks before leaving the flat. I experience valid feelings again. Sadness, joy, anger... mostly sadness and anger these days but oy, FEELINGS. Just a few clouds left in my brain, yay! I must've looked and acted like a zombie, according to the BF, friends and family. Like, two weeks ago, I got terribly drunk at my brother's b-day party and apparently I couldn't stop crying in my mom's arms, crying out stuff like "I can't do this anymore, I just can't, I won't make it..." I don't remember anything of that myself (luckily). Mom told me last weekend, after they dumped me. She had tears in her eyes and I got some serious chills when she said "I just couldn't believe that this crying mess in my arms was once my daughter. My tough, talented, amazing and beautiful daughter. I want my daughter back!" ... ouch.


So much ouch. But you know what!?


She will get her daughter back. BF will get his girl back. My friends will get their friend back.

This is not a threat.

It's a promise. :D
Take care, guys. :heart:
BF and I broke up. </3
I am moving into my own flat these days.
New job is good.

I am incredibly sad, though. I wasn't prepared for this kind of heartbreak and it really, REALLY sucks. I miss our "good ol' days" so much. The beginning of 2014. I've never felt better in my entire life! It's all gone. Damn.

Well. At least it didn't take long to find a nice flat that I can afford. I guess I'm kind of growing up. It feels weird. Everything feels so weird. Switching between "This is exciting!", "I'm looking forward to living on my own!" and "I am never going to be happy again!" every five minutes.

That's life, I guess. Meh.

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starsandpolkadots

Artist | Digital Art
Hi there! :)

I have put together some FAQ. Please read them before asking anything! :) starsandpolkadots.deviantart.c…

Some quick notes:
* I DON'T DO REQUESTS! STOP ASKING ME!
* Art trades are FRIENDS ONLY, if anything at all. I just don't have the time for them right now.

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:iconplcthecd:
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I shall drink to your health on your birthday!

:beer::drunk::iconbudweiserplz::iconwineplz::iconpintplz::iconwhiskeyplz::iconmargaritaplz::iconjackdanielsplz::iconchampagneplz::iconmartiniplz::iconheinekenplz:::iconrumplz::icondrunkplz:
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:icongryffgirl:
Gryffgirl Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2016
Happy birthday! :iconrainbowbummiecakeplz:
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:iconjuliafliess:
JuliaFliess Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2016  Student
Happy Birthday!!
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:icondyel75:
Dyel75 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
:party::party:HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!:party::party::cake:
I Hope You Have a Very Nice Day!!!!:blowkiss:
Best Wishes And Greetings from Brazil!!!:hug:
Reply
:iconmairelyn:
Mairelyn Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconcolorfulsparklesplz: :iconblue-hplz: :iconblue-aplz: :iconblue-pplz: :iconblue-pplz: :iconblue-yplz: 

:iconblue-bplz: :iconblue-iplz: :iconblue-rplz: :iconblue-tplz: :iconblue-hplz: :iconblue-dplz: :iconblue-aplz::iconblue-yplz: :iconcolorfulsparklesplz:

:iconsparklyplz: :iconsparklyplz: :iconsparklyplz: :iconsparklyplz: 



:iconcakeplz11::iconcakeplz12::iconcakeplz13:
:iconcakeplz14::iconcakeplz15::iconcakeplz16:
:iconcakeplz17::iconcakeplz18::iconcakeplz19:


:iconpinkcakeplz: :iconcakecookieplz: :party: :cake: :iconcakepinkplz: 

:iconrainbowbummiecakeplz: :iconfloatingstarplz: 

:iconrainbowwaveplz1::iconrainbowwaveplz2::iconrainbowwaveplz3: :iconcheerplz: 



Hope you have a Wonderful Amazing Day Today! :icongwompplz:
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:iconallieg06:
AllieG06 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
MenInASuitcase Fella Heart Kiss (Love) 
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:iconmoodypug:
MoodyPug Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015
:heart:!
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:iconstarsandpolkadots:
starsandpolkadots Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2015   Digital Artist
:heart:!!
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:iconmoodypug:
MoodyPug Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING ME :heart:

Also, I want to say that I think you're super rad and the bad times won't always be bad. SO KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, OKAY?
Reply
:iconplcthecd:
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday! :party::iconcakeplz::w00t:

I shall drink to your health! :iconpintplz::beer::iconbudweiserplz::iconwineplz::iconrumplz::iconjackdanielsplz::iconwhiskeyplz::icontequilaplz::iconmargaritaplz::iconmartiniplz::drunk::icondrunkplz:
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:iconmairelyn:
Mairelyn Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY :cake: 
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:icondyel75:
Dyel75 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
:party::party:HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!:party::party::cake:
I Hope You Have a Very Nice Day!!!:blowkiss:
Best Wishes And Greetings From Brazil!!!:hug:
P.S.:I Follow You On tumblr,Too!!
Reply
:icongrizzly-bear-joe101:
Grizzly-Bear-Joe101 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday.
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:iconmariannanight:
MariannaNight Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day!
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:iconvioletky:
VioletKy Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday!!! :party: :hug:
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:iconkaedegirl:
Kaedegirl Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I wish you a happy early birthday :) :heart:
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:iconursuladecay:
UrsulaDecay Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thank  you  for watching meeeee  ^  o ^   <3
Reply
:iconstarsandpolkadots:
starsandpolkadots Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2014   Digital Artist
But of course! You have super fun artwork, the watch was a MUST! :D
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:icondennia:
dennia Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Professional General Artist
Ow wow!! Thank you for watch me!! It means a lot! :hug:
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:iconmilliardpeacecraft:
MilliardPeacecraft Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014
Tag, quality  deviant, you’re it! Quality doesn't mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them! ~:heart:
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:iconvioletky:
VioletKy Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I must add you to my watchers couse your drawing style is absolutely amaizing!!! Congrats for the gallery!
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:iconstarsandpolkadots:
starsandpolkadots Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014   Digital Artist
Thank you soo much! :D Your gallery is very neat as well! :heart:
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:iconvioletky:
VioletKy Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy that you like it ^_^And also your welcome! :hug:
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:iconbigassjay:
BigAssJay Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I like your skills!
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:iconstarsandpolkadots:
starsandpolkadots Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014   Digital Artist
Glad you do, thanks. :)
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